The Absolute Anchor

Have you noticed how often change feels unfeasible?

We have access to endless tools: habit trackers, mindfulness apps, time-saving systems.
Yet we struggle to do the very things that would nurture our well-being:
• move our body
• allocate time for rest, even reflection
• go to bed earlier

It’s not because we lack tools.
It’s because of something quieter and far more powerful.

1. The Anchors We Don’t See

If we could look inside ourselves and see our internal landscape,
we would discover mindsets and narratives that anchor us daily yet no longer serve us.

One of the strongest anchors is an ‘absolute’ mindset —
seeing only one viable option, usually driven by responsibility, obligation or even guilt.

Absolutes collapse choice into either/or.

Narratives that sound like truth:
• I don’t have time to do A because I have to do B.
• I have no discipline so I can’t pursue XYZ activity (e.g. a health habit).

These aren’t facts.
They are rigid beliefs we treat as truth and seldom question.
And these absolutes don’t just freeze movement; they block change and growth.
They quietly stop us before we even begin.

Here’s another way to anchor yourself — one that expands choice instead of restricting it.

2. The Taoist Lens: Duality

We often view rest and action, stillness and movement, care for others and care for ourselves as two opposing forces.

What looks like contradiction, Taoism sees as complementary.

In the Taoist world, they exist as dualities:
• Rest is not the opposite of action — it enables action.
• Pausing is not failure — it gathers energy.
• Small motion counts. It accumulates.

Two sides of the same coin. Each one holds space for the other.
Life doesn’t have to be about picking one over the other, but about embracing both.
When we learn to integrate both, we reduce the internal stress that comes from constant conflict.

3. A Small Reframe Toward a Flexible Approach

Instead of: I don’t have time.
Try: I have time for myself. I can give myself 15 minutes to sit still.

Instead of: I lack discipline.
Try: I already show up with discipline for others — I can channel some toward a new wellness habit.

When we release the absolute anchor, we reclaim choice.

4. Practice Applying Duality In Your Life

Shift your mindset and narrative to I can do A, and I can give myself B.
Not either/or.
Both/and.

Examples:
• I can care for others and for myself.
• I can finish the urgent and take 15 minutes to replenish.

When we allow more than one option, we open ourselves to change.
Small steps build momentum.
Momentum shifts energy.
Internal change manifests external growth.

Change doesn’t require more discipline.
It requires permission to see more than one path.

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© My-Tien Vo – November 11, 2025