Who Should Be Our First Go-To Person?

We all need a go-to person. Who should be that individual? How about turning to the person who’s available to us 24/7?

As a child, when we fall down or get hurt, we’d run to our parents or teacher to soothe us or heal us. As an adult, most of us no longer turn to these individuals. If we are fortunate, we have a go-to person: our best friend, a sibling, a partner, a spouse, or a close colleague. But they’re not always around during those critical moments when we need them most. And even with a go-to person, as adults, most of us bear our suffering silently.

Often, when we experience a crisis, we’d sit with those stressful feelings until they worsen, vent on some innocent soul, reach for the medicine cabinet, or call our therapist if we have one. Instead of any of these actions, how about turning to the person who’s available to us 24/7?

Look in the mirror. Calm and comfort the person who is looking back at you. The one person who is always there for you, is you: 24/7. What you say to yourself has an immediate effect on how you’re feeling; you can choose to soothe and calm yourself, or you can choose to remain in pain.

Most of us were not brought up to turn inward to heal ourselves because we’ve been taught to look outward for solutions. We all possess inner strength that we often overlook, which can support us anytime we need.

Soothing and healing ourselves takes practice.

1. Learn to recognize when you’re feeling stressed, when you feel certain emotions—fear, anxiety, annoyance, and/or anger—overtaking you.

2. Notice the stress appearing in your body: you’re not breathing properly, your chest tightens, you feel a knot in your abdomen, your neck and shoulders contract, or you start tapping your fingers or your feet. Your mind starts racing and focusing on worst-case scenarios.

3. Give yourself permission to soothe, heal yourself, and reset.Take deep breaths, exhale and release your emotions and stress. Next, focus on breathing normally to calm yourself. Stretch and release the tension throughout your body. If you can, go outside and take a short walk. Inhale fresh air. Be in the moment; recognize that everything is fine in this moment. This, too, shall pass. Soothe yourself and recalibrate. You can do this anywhere, at any moment. Remember, the one person who’s always there for you, is you! Being your own go-to person 24/7 is a gift to yourself.



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